Inspired Elephant - Blog

Acceptance is the portal to peace

7/7/2020

At last night's Sister Talk, we had the privilege of learning about EFT (tapping) from Dr. Terry Lynch, who shared this juicy nugget with our herd:

"Acceptance is the portal to peace."

Simple, yet profound.

Think about it. Acceptance means letting go of control. It's allowing what is to just be. It's acknowledging where you are and how you feel so you can move on.

Resistance keeps you there, in the struggle and negativity. It's a lonely fight that you may win but at what price?

Being right or refusing to grow or change is not worth the price of peace.

The other a-ha moment came when she said this: "Your body is loving you into existence."

Our bodies do soooo much for us, including how it takes on stress. Our bodies speak a language all their own if we just take the time to listen, take note, observe, and feel. If we developed this level of connection and intimacy with our own bodies, we can truly heal ourselves and live the life our soul longs for.

Finally, Dr. Lynch suggests setting your affirmations to music. For those of us that feel funny saying affirmations aloud, this can actually make it so much more enjoyable and less weird.

We are so grateful to Dr. Lynch for imparting so much wisdom with us, peppering it with humor, and teaching us a valuable self-care tool that helps us find our way back to peace.

How about you? What are you resisting in your life right now? What are you feeling? Where are you feeling it in your body? Please comment below!

For those of you that joined us in this Sister Talk, how do you feel about tapping and the affirmations? Is this something you think you will put into practice? Please share your feedback with us in the comments below. Let' s keep the conversation going!

P.S. We will pause our Sister Talk series in August. See you in September!

Three is a magic number

7/2/2020

Do you have a favorite or lucky number?

I do. It's the number, 3. Even Schoolhouse Rock agrees with me that it is, in fact, a MAGIC number. Thank you, Bob Dorough!

I've always loved 3. I am one of three children. I am the mother of three children. Three is the number of the Trinity which for some is Father, Son, and Holy Ghost; and for others, it's Mind, Body, and Spirit. For me, it's both.

One of my often-used sayings?  "Third time's a charm."

When I attempt something and I am not successful the first 2 times, I ALWAYS go for the third time. And, it works like a charm for me.

Case in point: We've been househunting and had previously and unsuccessfully bid on 2 homes. I turned to my partner and my realtor after the second attempt and announced, "No worries. Third time's a charm. The next one will be our house." And it was!

Finally, my other favorite saying that elicits eyeball-rolling from my children?  "It's as easy as 1,2,3!"

Want to know what else is as easy as 1, 2, 3? Reducing your stress and anxiety.

It's true! In as little as 3 minutes, EFT or Tapping can calm your nervous system by as much as 43% (did you catch that second 3? See what I mean???)

How does EFT work? Simply put, this self-healing practice consists of tapping with your fingertips on specific meridian points while talking through negative thoughts or emotions. Doing so sends a signal to your amygdala (personal alarm system) that all is OK.

If you are at all curious or interested, we encourage you to join us for our next Sister Talk on Tuesday, July 7th at 7 pm.  International speaker, author, and healer, Dr. Terry Lynch, will teach us about the science of Tapping, how it works, and guide us through tapping exercises.

This self-care tool is something you can learn and do for yourself whenever and wherever you need to. How empowering is that?!

All it takes is 3 minutes before you begin to feel the results!

I can hold a plank for 3 minutes but I am not quite seeing those results yet. I think I'd rather tap.

And it's FREE (which rhymes with three!).
Please join us. All you need is to download the Zoom app.   R egister here to receive the link to attend.

With so much love,
Carolyn

When the shizzle hits the fan

6/24/2020

Life as of late has been handing us all sorts of hard things. Can we get an amen?!
When we’re going through a hard situation, we have a choice to make: RESPOND or REACT.

Sometimes though, we automatically hit the REACT button, without even thinking.

We hit reply to respond that email we read snarky tone into
We lose our temper with our kids or partner after being quarantined together for 3 months
We curse and cry when our dishwasher breaks (Oh yes, I did. Last week).
We resist and argue when we are told something other than what we want to hear (Ok, so I did that too.)

When reacting is your go-to, it's likely that you have given yourself the space, that oh-so-needed moment to recognize that there is more than one way to respond.

So maybe there is an interim step here.

Let's call it PAUSE.

Pause is not denial or ignoring the situation at hand. Pause means you give yourself the space to process, to feel and then to choose an appropriate response.

So if the way to get to Respond is through Pause, how do we get to Pause?

There are actually many ways -- all of which involve self care which we've talked about, especially in recent months. However, in less than 2 weeks on July 7th at 7:00 pm via Zoom, we will have our next Sister Talk featuring Dr. Terry Lynch who will guide us as we explore EFT or Tapping as a way to Pause.

If you are not familiar with Tapping, it is a scientifically-proven, holistic method to realign the body, mind, and spirit in order to let go of negative emotions and the tension they cause, and then move forward in a positive and mindful direction.

Specifically, EFT involves tapping on acupressure points while focusing on a distinct and troubling issue. Doing so, sends a signal to the amygdala which is the area of the brain responsible for emotions, survival instincts, and memory (Flight or Fight). That's our Panic button. Perceived threats such as a broken dishwasher or bad news stimulate the amygdala and can create anxiety. The idea behind Tapping is to reprogram your response (this is your Pause) to these threats, focus on the anger, grief, or whatever other emotion is holding you down, and to send a signal to the amygdala telling us we are okay.
EFT can be enormously beneficial for so many aspects of your life and place you on the path to living a life filled with positive responses and fewer negative reactions.

And you get to learn it from an expert in the field, in the comfort of your home, in the virtual company of like-minded souls. And did we mention it's free???

Please don't wait for the dishwasher to break or an eyeball-roll from your teen to push you over the edge. Join us!

R egister here.

With so much love,
C & C

Know that you are magnificent

6/18/2020

Know who you are and know that you are magnificent.

All that you do, from the mundane to the heroic, has significance.

Your role and your mission in this lifetime is to shine your light. You are the lighthouse that offers hope to those caught in the storm. You were made to withstand storms. Storms come to pass. Your soul, however, is eternal. It can outlast any storm.

Honor that which you face and hold it sacred. Your every action and thought has power. In every situation, from the mundane to the heroic, aim high. Choose the highest potential in any given moment and you will soar -- high above those storm clouds.

Parenting Through Uncertain Times

5/20/2020

If you have children, you know raising kids presents challenges on your best days. Parenting through uncertain times and when we ourselves are not feeling 100% is even harder. And, let’s be real when Mom isn’t feeling great, the whole family feels it. So, what to do about it?

First, let us start by acknowledging that NO ONE can be their best selves 24/7. Yes, even MOMs are human. We will have good hours and bad hours, but the goal is to foster more good ones and minimize the effect of the bad ones.

Here are my top 3 go-to steps that have proven to be helpful.

1. BE REAL - it’s important to be clear and honest about what’s going on when things aren’t going well. Trying to act like nothing is wrong only makes us exhausted and confuses our kids (that intuitively know something is not well). Experts agree there is not a one-size-fits-all guide on how much to say to kids and what words to use; so every Mom needs to decide that based on their child’s personality. But, addressing what’s happening head-on with our children will ease some of the struggles for the whole family.

2. ASK FOR HELP - When it comes to action, this is the key…enlisting allies. Of course, that means you have to be willing to reach out for help. I have a hard time asking people for help but I am super lucky that I have people in my life who recognize that. Those that love us truly want the best for us, but sometimes support needs to be carefully cultivated, even when it feels uncomfortable to us.

3. ADJUST EXPECTATIONS - During stressful times, I have to re-calibrate and scale everything back. This may mean adjusting your expectations of what a normal day looks like, and sometimes that means just surviving until bedtime. It doesn’t even matter if the kids logged in extra screen time, stayed in PJ's all day, did takeout for dinner, etc. Did you make it to bedtime? You’re good.

Parenting is a tough gig under the best of circumstances, and when we’re struggling with stressful, uncertain times it can feel especially overwhelming. I hope knowing that you are not alone has helped a little and that the above ideas can provide some assistance. I leave you with one last reminder…it is totally fine that whatever solutions you pick to cope may not reflect some mythical idea of what motherhood is. And that is OKAY! Keep it real and keep going.

xo,
Cher

What's (self)-love got to do, got to do with it?

5/8/2020

Hiya Sweet Friend,
When things feel out of control, and the news has got you down, stress and anxiety levels tend to skyrocket – and it’s not without reason. Some of you may be or have a loved one directly impacted by the Coronavirus. Others may have lost jobs. Some may be “working from home” while managing their children’s needs. You and your partner may be operating on high-stress levels. For those living alone, this social distancing mandate can be incredibly isolating.

It’s a lot to deal with.

So what’s (self)-love got to do? …got do to with it? Sorry! Tina fans here. We couldn’t resist.

Self-Love allows you to be your best possible self in the worst possible scenario. It enables you to more present and calm in all aspects of your life and better support for your loved ones. Studies show that self-love and -compassion are vital components of strong mental health and keeping anxiety at bay. These studies also demonstrate that having more self-compassion builds resilience in the face of adversity, helping people to recover more quickly from trauma. And just so we’re clear, living though this COVID pandemic IS traumatic.

On Wednesday, May 13th at 7pm, we invite you to join us for Managing Coronavirus-Related Anxiety: A Workshop on Self-Love & Preservation. Self-Love Coach and Psychologist, Joann Tavares, shares her personal journey as someone who deeply struggled with her own sense of self-worth to becoming a Self-Love Ninja . Specifically, she will help you to:

understand why cultivating self-love is so critical in managing your anxiety – especially right now.
learn simple tools to embrace self-worth and quell anxiety
identify your personal self-limiting beliefs, kick them to the curb, and choose a new narrative for yourself
recognize your inherent core values, and how to live and lead by them every day
embrace gratitude as your inner superpower
realize that strengthening your mindfulness muscle will give birth to an unshakeable inner core of strength and calm. Buh-bye anxiety!

In short, this workshop is going to give you the tools to dive deep, self-empower and FEEL BETTER. Please join us for this FREE workshop on Wednesday, May 13th at 7:00 pm. All you need is to RSVP and the Zoom App.

We hope you’ll join us! RSVP here.

Stay inside. Stay healthy. And love yourself.

Love,
C&C

Our tips for thriving during the "New Normal" - Video Chat

4/26/2020

Hiya Herd,

Last week we had the great privilege of being interviewed by Lynn Fitzgerald for the We Love Metuchen online community. It was a fun and insightful chat with her and we offer a sneak peek into our 2 upcoming virtual events that are specifically geared to provide you with guidance and support during this pandemic:

Writing for Clarity Workshop on May 3rd: ($25)
Our most cathartic and revelatory workshop that will take you from feeling helpless to empowered - even in the midst of all the fear and lack of this pandemic. Click here for details and to RSVP.

Managing Coronavirus-related Anxiety: A workshop on Self-Love & Preservation on May 13th: (FREE!)
Self-Love Coach and Psychologist, Joann Tavares provides the tools and techniques to help us be our best possible selves in the midst of crisis. Click here for details and to RSVP.

If you have any questions on either event, please feel free to reach out here!

If you have some time, take a listen! We also shed some light on our personal challenges and tips as working moms for getting through this roller coaster ride of a “new normal”.

How about you, friend? If you have any tips for what’s helping you cope, please share below in the comments section. This is the time, more than ever, to share and come together as a community.

Finally, if there is a specific topic you’d like us to cover that you would find helpful, please let us know. We’re here to help.

With so much love,

C&C

Reduce Your Mental Overload with Journaling

4/22/2020

Dedicated journaling for 15-20 minutes a day for just three days can address many unresolved emotional events in our lives big or small. How does this work? Well, the process of writing itself helps our brain to organize complex feelings. So, writing out complex feelings helps our mind and the body let go, organize, and process emotions.

The best part is how simple it is for it to have such a powerful, positive impact. Ready to give it a try?

What you will need:

15- 20 minutes of uninterrupted time for 3 consecutive days
A timer (best if not your cell phone – it can be distracting)
A plain spiral notebook or loose-leaf paper (less pressure than a pretty journal)
A pen (because you process information differently when writing)

Getting Started:

Set your timer for 15-20 minutes and write without thinking about grammar, style, who will read it or anything else. Just free-write. Think about it as a brain dump, or as we prefer to say it, a brain release. Really tap into your emotions — your deepest thoughts, worries, and concerns. Take time to explore those feelings. Try to tie those current feeling to past events.

Afterward:

Accept and let go! When you are done take a moment to read the words out loud (to hear them spoken gives them weight). Now, let go of them and what they represent by throwing the pieces away or burning them.

Back to Reality:

These “brain releases” can get emotional so, time to re-center yourself. Take a few deep breaths and ready yourself to re-engage with the world, hopefully feeling more centered and aware of your needs.

As shown in multiple studies, writing about your emotions improves your life — it leads to better health, stronger personal connections, and overall success. We have experienced it firsthand and encourage you to give it a try.

If you would like a little help kicking-off your personal journaling experience, we are currently offering a hands-on 90-minute Writing for Clarity workshop (Sunday, May 3rd) via ZOOM. Learn more at www.inspiredelephant.com/writing-for-clarity-workshop.html

Be Well,
C&C

How to go from feeling helpless to EMPOWERED

4/16/2020

How is our Herd holding up? We hope you, your family, and loved ones are safe and healthy.

We are reaching out to you today to talk about something called contrast.

Contrast is what we experience when something shows up in our lives that is contrary to what we want. Sometimes it presents as an instantaneous situation like... well, like this pandemic. Other times, contrast manifests as a buildup of super-annoying incidences like your dishwasher dying, the printer continuously jamming, and not being able to find your key fob.

Ugh! Why does contrast even exist?

Well, it's like yin and yang. You can't have light without darkness or strength without weakness, etc. Until you experience that which you don't want, you won't truly know what you do want.

Contrast is really not meant to mess with you. It is meant to both enlighten and empower you... if used correctly.

Have you ever had an MRI with contrast done? In this scenario, the contrast is dye that is injected into a patient's affected area prior to the scan. Physicians order contrast MRIs for their patients because they do a better job of showing clear images for certain conditions. Sometimes a physician will recommend an MRI with contrast following a regular MRI because the initial scan did not successfully reveal anything.
Contrast gives physicians a higher quality visual so they know the next steps to take to heal their patients.

The same can be said about the contrast in your life. It gives you a razor-sharp focus on your desires by showing you what you don't want. Once you have that vision of your desires etched into your mind, you can steps to foster that image and eventually, actualize it. Even in the midst of this pandemic, you can use this contrast to focus on and invite more of what you do want into your life.

We may not have control over this healthcare crisis, job cuts, or even toilet paper supplies; but we can choose to shift our focus away from the lack and fear, to things we appreciate and do want.

It's shifting your focus from feeling helpless to feeling hopeful. That's the first step.

We are four weeks into this quarantine and I tell you this contrast right now SUCKS. But here is one example of how I am shifting my focus right now:

My kids are not really doing what I want them to do, when I want them to do it, or even how. This is a glaring reality when we are together 24/7. But, they are holding their own in all of this. They are getting their online work done (at odd hours and in bed but whatever, they are doing it). They are cooking and trying new and sophisticated recipes.

What is emerging from all of this is that they're becoming RESILIENT. In the face of a pandemic, resilience is a lockdown silver lining.

So I am backing off on how I think things should be done and embracing that my children are rising to this challenge PERIOD. I am adding all sorts of out-of-the-norm ingredients to my grocery lists for their culinary creations. And now my kids are COOKING FOR ME! I had homemade latkes last night. And, it's freaking about time. It took a pandemic for this miracle to occur, but I will gladly take it and do what I can to encourage it.

How about you? How can you use the contrast that exists in your life right now to focus on and invite more of what you do want? Please share with us in the comments below. We are all in this together and by sharing, we can lift one another up.

Implementing this simple shift can do wonders for your outlook, empower you, and positively affect those around you.

At any and every given moment, and with every thought and emotion we choose to hang our hat on, we are breathing life into one of two realities: one that we fear, or the one that we want.

In our next post, we'll share more about this and introduce a technique we call Writing for Clarity, that takes this shift and turns it into manifesting magic!

With love and hope,
C&C

Self-Care Bingo

4/13/2020