Do you start your sentences with, "I'm sorry but..." or "Can I please just say something here?" You are not alone, Sisters!

Come hang with us for our next Be Inspired Sister Talk: FINDING OUR VOICE: Stop Asking for Permission scheduled for March 12th at 7pm at Creative Twist Events.

In a cozy and supportive setting, we'll address the small, often subconscious things that we (as women) do every day that significantly reduces our personal authority and success in the workplace and in our relationships. Our goal is to help you to:

1. stop apologizing for what you are about to say
2. stop asking for permission

Wanna know why? 

Because you don’t need permission to live how you want and nor should you feel badly about it. 

It's one thing to be aggressive (which we are not promoting).  It's an entirely other matter to be ASSERTIVE. 

It's about owning who you are and living life on your terms.  It's about not giving away your personal power. 

There is a fine art to female assertiveness. It's innate in all of us. We're just going to bring out your masterpiece on March 12th!

Join us as we explore:

• Why in this modern day and age, women are still apologizing or trying to make themselves seem small
• How to break the cycle of asking for permission
• Female communication patterns (both verbal and non-verbal) including upspeak and how that goes off the wrong impression
• Practicing assertiveness skills with each other
• Your concerns/struggle around this issue in a supportive and encouraging environment

And for those of you not familiar with our Sister Talks, we are not going to talk at you or give a formal presentation.  A Sister Talk is merely carving out a sacred space where we can all come together and explore all of the ways we can grow and thrive as women; where being a woman is supported, revered and celebrated.

It’s the book club where you don’t have to read the book.  Just show up and talk. Or just listen.  Have a glass of wine. Stay for a bit or for the entire duration (from 7pm-9pm).  Register online here or just show up at the door. It’s all good.

We created Sister Talks and this topic for YOU.  Will you join us tonight?

You will feel empowered and so liberated when you finally stop saying sorry for something that isn’t your fault, stop using too many “please and thank yous”and stop asking for permission.

Unapologetically yours,
Carolyn & Cher
Register here or just show up and pay at the door.

Hiya Herd,
We’ve been getting some questions and lots of interest in tonight's Sister Talk: Saving NO to Busy...How to Do More by Doing Less.  Here is what you can expect at Creative Twist Events, 7pm tonight:

• A roomful of supportive like-minded women in a relaxed, cozy atmosphere with apps & bevs
• Learning how to #konmari your way through your calendar
• Interactive discussions where we get to practice saying no in situations that appear and reappear in your life
• Great conversation and valuable insight from your sisters who are all walking the walk, just like you

As we know, obliging others is a slippery slope to overwhelm. It’s not that there aren’t enough hours in the day, it’s that we’ve said yes to too many things and now we don’t have the space nor the energy for the things in our life that we really want.  And, being as busy as we are, we may not even be able to discern what those things are anymore.

And yes, we totally see the irony that we are asking you to SAY YES to this so you can SAY NO to the busyness in your life.

We just want to be clear.  We are not going to talk at you or give a formal presentation.  A Sister Talk is merely carving out a sacred space where we can all come together and explore all of the ways we can grow and thrive as women; where being a woman is supported, revered and celebrated.

It’s the book club where you don’t have to read the book.  Think about it!  This topic is a big, fat chapter in your own life story. Just show up and talk. Or just listen.  Have a glass of wine. Stay for a bit or for the entire duration (from 7pm-9pm). RSVP here or just show up at the door. It’s all good.

We created Sister Talks and this topic for YOU.  Will you join us tonight?

You will feel empowered and so energized when you finally start SAYING NO, and living a life that is LESS busy but MORE fulfilling.

Your time and energy are two of your most valuable resources.  Let’s replenish both tonight.  Together.

Lots of love,
Carolyn & Cher

Lately we’ve been thinking about prioritization and how to deal with the unending requests for our time. Intellectually we understand that there is no obligation to say yes beyond what our threshold is, but often we hear ourselves saying YES when inside we're screaming NO!!!

We're finding that the ability to say “no” comes easier to some, but feels virtually impossible to others. We would say that both of us are somewhere in the middle. 

We truly admire those women that are consistently comfortable with saying “no” when their plate is too full, or they simply do not want to do something. But completely relate to those that find it almost unbearable to say no, no matter how busy they are, and how much they do not want to do a task.

So, to help us all embrace the beauty of “No” or reaffirm your love of “No” we compiled our top 10 inspiring “no” quotes.

And, if like many of us you need a little extra help embracing the beauty of 'No' and are in the NJ Tri-State area join us Tuesday Feb. 12th for our fist Sister Talk session of the year.  

​February's Topic: Saying NO to Busy...How To Do More By Doing Less.

We hope to see you there! 

​XO
C&C 

“Your dedication to…inspires me!”
How many people in your life are doing things that you wish you could do? Instead of feeling envious, turn those feelings around and compliment them on their dedication and effort. It takes a lot to make “dream worthy” things happen so chances are, they’re working hard behind the scenes. They deserve a compliment. Who knows, you might make a friend who can help you with your own journey.

“You make my life so much easier!”
There are a lot of people in my life who do things behind the scenes that keep my day to day life running smoothly. If you are encountering people who do this for you, stop and give them a compliment. They deserve to hear that you recognize all the things they do for you. It will make them feel happy and appreciated!
​
“…I really like your…”
This is probably the simplest of all the compliments in the world. I wouldn’t recommend overusing a generic compliment like “I like that” but instead take the time to personalize the compliment. Tell each person what you like specifically relating to them. They will love that you’ve put some thought into their compliment and taking the time to think about all the people in your life who have incredible skills and styles and determination will in turn brighten your day! How lucky we all are to be surrounded by such fantastic people!

“Your smile is contagious!”
I always notice when people are smiling around me. It doesn’t matter if I’m passing someone on the street or sitting near them on the bus, a smile truly is contagious and in this busy, crazy, chaotic, and sometimes mean world…a smile is worth stopping to compliment! A quick and easy compliment like this can truly brighten the world.

“You are one of a kind.”
It’s really not hard to find the people in our lives to stand out. Giving them compliments does not have to be difficult. Try this one out the next time you see one of those stand out people in your life!

Compliments are a rare thing in today’s world where we hide behind our screens and our headphones. Take this opportunity to give out some compliments and enjoy the way it makes you feel in return!

NationalComplimentDay #Inspired

XO
C&C 

We are thrilled to announce the launch of our 2019 Be Inspired - Sister Talk Series.

This year we’ve partnered with Joanne Cruz the founder of Creative Twist Events in Metuchen, NJ to host these informal gatherings, which will allow for peer learning with a group of like-minded women in a totally inspiring space.
 
Starting next month, we will be gathering the 2nd Tuesday of each month for some yummy bites, savory drinks and inspired conversation.  

Our upcoming topics include:

• Feb. 12th - Saying NO to Busy...How to Do More By Doing Less.
• Mar. 12th - Stop Asking!...Is That a Question or a Statement? How You Speak Matters
• Apr. 9th - Let's Unplug...Surviving the Constant Influx of Texts, Tweets, Emails, and Notifications
• May 14th - From Hobby to Hustle...The Life Changing Realities and Possibilities of a Side Hustle

We strongly believe in the power of group conversations, shared ideas and fun.  If you’re in the area we hope to see you there. 

Learn more at: www.inspiredelephant.com/sister-talks 

The New Year can mean a fresh start, some much needed change, or a continuation of success and happiness. Whatever your resolutions are for the New Year, here are 10 of our favorite inspiring messages that keep us motivated and hopeful.

Step 1: Get Moving
I wanted to lay in bed until the last possible second before getting ready for work.  Instead, I got up to exercise.  It was THE LAST THING I wanted to do but I know that exercise is a natural mood lifter.  I sucked it up and did my 30 min of my C25K app.  I wish I could tell you that I had rainbows and unicorns popping out of my head but that was not the case.  However, I did feel better that I had done something positive for myself and less lethargic.

Step 2: Get Organized
I also straightened up my room.  I don’t know why but cleanliness and orderliness make my foggy brain seem to function more smoothly.  It calms me too.  I guess it makes me feel like I have a sense of control.  There’s quite a bit around me right now that is outside of my control and I guess I find that unsettling.  A clean room?  Calming.

Step 3: Get Zen
Next, I sat down to meditate quietly.  I did my deep breathing.  I tried positive visualization.  I’ll be honest, it was a stretch. Again, I did not experience much immediate relief but I did feel more centered and very much aware that my low feelings were temporary.  This too, shall pass.

Step 4: Get Inspired
I picked up "A Course in Miracles" (ACIM).  I read a passage almost every morning.  Ironically, the passage I opened up to was about guilt.  I had so much guilt over the turn of events with the family outing-turned-debacle.  And in trying to discuss the turn of events with my family, I feel like I transferred some of that guilt on to my loved ones.  Honestly, I felt even shittier afterwards and I think they did too!

ACIM describes guilt as a form of fear and the result deep unconscious belief in wrongdoing.  It’s judgment at its worst. Guilt is healed and released with forgiveness (a form of love).  My takeaway?  I need to forgive my perfectionist self and in doing so, give her some self-love. 

Step 5: Be Grateful (Get Grateful is grammatically painful to my ears)
Lastly, I cracked open my gratitude journal.  Oh joy, I thought.  (Insert sarcasm) I get to come up with 5 things to be grateful for in the midst of all of this.  Here is what I wrote:

1. Helping my son bake macarons after our craptastic afternoon.  He definitely brightened up and was so proud of himself and happy for my help. 
2. Having my daughter’s bestie and dog over for dinner and play.  Instant therapy!
3. A good night’s sleep – it is hands-down my favorite activity in the whole world.  It is so restorative.  It’s like hitting the reset button.  Yesterday however, not as much. It was more like getting a power up so I can keep going.
4. My daughter surprising me with dark chocolate from the mall because she knew it would cheer me up.  It’s also known to be a mood booster too so I ate it all but I’m feeling slightly less grateful about that part…
5. Getting to kiss my eldest goodbye as she left for the day

 Reading them over made me realize how blessed I am. Right now.  In this very moment.

Step 6: Pray
When you are feeling helpless, like there’s not much you can do, there is always prayer.  In prayer, you are simply asking for help from your higher power. 
So I prayed. I prayed for my friends and family going through difficulties.  I prayed for strength and I prayed for the doom and gloom to be lifted from me.  As they say, I gave it up to God.

I often forget about this step.  I forget that I am not on this journey alone; that it’s OK to ask for guidance, signs, relief, etc.  And it’s incredibly empowering to do so because really, when there is nothing you can do about a situation, you CAN always pray. Prayer IS a form of action.  And that matters -- especially to the doer in me.

Bonus Step: Write It Out
I thought that was it, but the last step I realize, is this post.  I had forgotten how cathartic it is to just write and get it all out: the fear, the uncomfortable feelings, the remorse.   I am no longer giving life to the negativity in my head because now it’s on paper. And seeing all of this on paper gives me clarity and a sense of empowerment.  I took concrete steps to address, feel and release the feelings that were bringing me down and they are helping. 

Life can get really tough at times and make us feel powerless, but there are things we can do to better our situation or if nothing else, our emotions.  I hope this helps you too with whatever you are dealing with.  If you have other strategies, please share them in the comments.
 
Yours in peace & love,
Carolyn

Sometimes I forget.
To be the queen I was born to be.

That I am regal, beautiful inside and out
with many gifts to share
and a community to inspire.

To show my sisters that they too are special
and to hold their heads held high.

That we may share compassionately
and help those that have lost their crowns along the way. 

For how can the world appreciate who I am
If I don’t wear my crown
If I don’t stand tall
If I don’t meet a brother or a sister’s gaze with kindness
If I don’t smile upon the world as if it were my realm

~ Carolyn 

Hello Herd, Today is World Mental Health Day and we want to take a moment to remember and support those who may be engaging in silent battles.

Every year 1 adult in 4, along with 1 child in 10, will have a mental health issue.  Recent studies show that women suffer higher rates of mental disorders than men. These conditions can profoundly affect literally MILLIONS of lives, affecting the capability of these individuals to make it through the day, to sustain relationships, and to maintain work.  And, most struggle alone because of the stigma surrounding mental illness. 

We need to eliminate the stigma about mental illness and talking about it is a great way to start. Since people can easily relate to quotes, we thought that sharing some mental health quotes would be a good way to start raising awareness or help start some conversations.

Here are 5 quotes that really resonated with us. Fell free to save any of the images below so you can look at them as a reminder on particularly challenging days or share them with a friend that may need the support.

“When ‘I’ is replaced by ‘WE’ even illness becomes wellness.” - Unknown  

“The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of the world but those who fight and win battles that others do not know anything about.” – Jonathan Harnisch

“I fight for my health every day in a way most people don’t understand. I’m not lazy. I’m a warrior.” -Unknown

​“My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.” -Emery Lord

“Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you did today was breathe.” -Unknown

We hope at least one of these mental health quotes resonated with you in some way! If you are able, discuss mental health awareness in some way this week. Share a post on Facebook, post a status update, send a tweet, send a text, make a call. Help us to break the silence and eliminate mental health stigma!

​XO,
C&C 
#worldmentalhealthday​