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A Lesson Learned From My Pre-Teen Son

10/14/2019

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Recently, my son and I tackled his disaster zone of a room. I kid you not, this day-long task produced: two garbage bags-full for goodwill, a box of books and games to donate, 2 bins of hand-me-downs for friends and not to mention, a sore back for me!

What really amazed me, aside from the mess this pint-sized kid can generate, was that he packed up his trophies and stuffed animals and announced that it was time for them to leave his room. This declaration came toward the end of our clean up.

I was surprised, a little saddened (as he is my baby), and also HUGELY ELATED because I love to purge and #konmari my home. "Are you sure?" I repeatedly asked him. "Yea," he replied matter-of-factly.

The trophies and stuffed animals were a part of his past, attachments that had made him feel safe, happy, and somewhat validated or revered. They represented a part of his past self, the child he was growing out of. By taking them out of his room, my son created space so he can grow into his new, preteen self and fill it with things that represent who he is now or at least, who he wants to be.

During our clean up, he showed me posters he wanted to hang up, mentioned books he wanted to add to his library and vinyls for his record collection. He was changing and wanted his environment to reflect that.

Inspired by my son, I found I had an urge to do some cleaning of my own: I decided to clean up my name.

While I had casually reverted back to my maiden name following my divorce in 2013, it wasn't until this year that I made it official by changing it on my passport, driver's license, bank accounts and credit cards. I even requested they change it at my local dry cleaners.

I can't explain it other than there was this insistent force inside me urging me to do this. And I have to tell you, with each instance of losing the last name I no longer felt attached to, I felt positively elated about having taken care of it. I felt FREE. I, too, was cleaning out remnants of my past self to make space for the new.

Growth and change can only happen when it is given the space to do so. 

So growth inevitably involves letting go of something…tangible or not. And, it may even surprise you that you no longer need or want it. This could be true for a comfort item that reminds you of the person you no longer are, or an identity that represents a closed chapter in your life.

Is your soul sending you gentle nudges to make some changes? To let go of the past? We are now officially in autumn, where nature literally shows us how to let go and change, resplendently, and with
ease. With nature as your guide, what can you release to create space? And what would that space invite into your life?

Please share your comments below. We really want to know, and so do our readers!

XO,
​Carolyn
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