When I became I Mom I was so focused on what I would teach my kids.  Hoping I would pass down wisdom and lessons so they could navigate their way through this complicated world. 

What I didn’t realize then but I am so thankful for now is how much they pass on their wisdom to me.

Yes, you read that right! KIDS HAVE WISDOM.  

There is a wonderful unbroken spirited wisdom that comes from youth.  And we as adults should learn to tap into that more often.

Case in point, last year my teenage son wanted to re-do his kid room.  He had outgrown his superhero-colored room and was ready to have a “teen” room.  I was all for it.  Secretly I was a little nervous about what his design “aesthetic” would be, but I have always allowed them to be who they are, let them chart their own path.  So, he started designing and I crossed my fingers.​

2.  Without hesitation, he asked for help.  Painting over crimson red superhero color walls takes layer upon layer of primer and new paint.  Let’s just say by the 2nd coat called in reinforcements. No shame, no I can do this myself bravado, no pause to self-doubt the need for help.  

3.  Most importantly, he willingly welcomed change.  And, with excitement, he jumped into the unknown - how to design a room, how to paint, what his teen self would like, etc.  Wish I had that untethered enthusiasm for what’s to come.  
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I find myself reflecting on this bedroom makeover often.   Every time I walk into his room I’m reminded of his youthful wisdom and how I could welcome and invite change more willingly.   

Want to see what inspires this young teenage boy? Here are his self-selected “affirmations” for your inspiration: 

Have you learned lessons from your kids?  I would love to hear about it in the comments.  My life could use all the youthful wisdom it can find. 

Here's to finding inspiration from all sources, young and old! 
~ Cher 

This subtle tweak puts you in a place of gratitude and appreciation. And I promise you that when you walk in with the energy of gratitude and appreciation, your day will flow so much better than if you approached it from a place of feeling beholden to a chore.

Ready to take this to another level?  Let’s change it up again.

Example:  I GET to go to work 
Reframe: I GET to go PLAY

Whaaaaat? 

Think that’s a stretch?  Well maybe it is from, “I HAVE to go work” but not as much from "I GET to go work".

So quit rolling your eyes and hear me out.

Work has such a negative connotation and brings up feelings of toil and sacrifice.   But play brings up a whole other energy.  It’s cheerful, light, and imaginative.  It’s FUN.

To be clear, it’s not as if a day at the office will automatically become a day at Six Flags (if that’s your jam.  Six Flags would be the equivalent of hell for me).  

It’s a shift in your energy and how you approach things.  The vibe you emit will also feel lighter to your colleagues and could promote funny banter as opposed to gossip and complaints, which tends to drain one’s energy.

I GET to PLAY can make an 8 hour day feel more like a half-day.  It can even make your commute home pleasurable.  

Before recommending this to our Herd, I tried it for myself.

I GET to go to work really felt really good to me.  The day felt special since I am still largely working from home. 

Going into work got me out of my house into different surroundings.  I met with people other than my family.  Given we are all emerging from our COVID cocoons, this one felt like an easy shift for me.  I felt grateful and happy to be around other people.

The next day I decided to try the far-fetched, “I GET to PLAY”.  I even chuckled to myself about trying it as I got into my car.

Guess what?   I experienced the biggest shift with this one! 

I sang loud and proud along to tunes in my car.  At work, I cheerfully met with clients and happily greeted colleagues.  I knocked off to-do's with bemused ease, including my least favorite annual task of dealing with delinquent accounts.  

The cherry on top was that the energy shift extended beyond my work day.  When I got home, I wasn’t ruminating inside my head.  I was chatty about my day which helped draw out my teens and as a result, we all had a really nice dinner together.

Reframing is a nifty little trick but like most self-care tools, it takes practice.  It’s very easy to slip into old ways of thinking and being -- the “I HAVE to’s”.  That was yesterday for me.  

I HAD to get my reluctant 8th-grader who has been remote all year to graduation practice, help my daughter get all of her art supplies back to her school and get myself to work for a day filled with appointments and calls, and get this blog post up which you guessed it! was a day late. 

My day also included losing my patience with my daughter in the school parking lot, yelling and tears, and just feeling so drained when I got home. 

Yesterday was overwhelming for sure.  It could have gone more smoothly had I done a little reframing early in the day.

The next time you start to feel anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, helpless, or just bored to tears, give it a try!  It can be applied to any area in your life including:

• parenting
• relationships
• household chores
• work

You name it, you can reframe it!

If you found this helpful at all, please share with your friends and family. Better yet, share your reframing experience with us in the comments below.  Your share might be just what someone else needs to hear to have her own breakthrough.

Lots of love,
Carolyn
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