Hiya Herd,
Gratitude is not just a noun, it’s a practice. Much like mastering a musical instrument or perfecting your pickleball game, the more you mindfully find ways to be grateful, the better you become at it.
And the more you practice gratitude, the more likely you are to find upsides even in times of contrast.
Why is this important?
Do you see what I mean? I could have just as easily lamented and been derailed by these things. My gratitude practice (years in the making now) has me habitually seeking the positives in the contrast.
Don't get me wrong I don’t mean to come off all high and mighty. Each of these events were, and still are, upsetting in varying degrees and I still have my moments.
Processing a stressful experience through a grateful lens doesn’t mean denying the negative consequences or feelings associated with it. Instead, it means realizing some power over the circumstances by gleaning some good from the experience.
Circumstances are outside of our control. How we respond can either victimize us or empower us.
I’ll be honest, that dog incident had me so shaken! And let me be clear, there is no upside to getting attacked by a dog. But I am ok and I do realize it could have been so much worse.
The situation with my father has been an emotional roller coaster. I clumsily navigate between offering compassion for his feelings, setting boundaries to protect my own energy, and having to cast all emotions aside to act in his best interest. Some days, he is filled with rage, other days he is subdued. On rare days, he is lucid and reasonable, and may even chuckle. Or any combination thereof.
Again, this is a scenario no one would never willingly choose. The upside I can rely on is that he is safe, his needs are being met, and he is cared for.
And the money? Honestly, the other two incidents helped me put this in perspective too. I could have very easily said, “Oh and on top of everything else, this happened!” I have my health, my dad is cared for, and we are ok despite this temporary circumstance. This is a rare occurrence (thankfully!) and I am trusting it will be remedied soon. And in the meantime? We are okay. In fact, we are blessed.
Thanksgiving is upon us. No matter what is going on, please try to find the gratitude in it. Even if you are stuck next to the combative relative debating politics with you at the table. Find the upside. Even if it’s that you won’t have to debate this person again for another 364 days.
Click here for 3 inspired tips on bringing more gratitude into your daily life.
Much gratitude and love for you all,
Carolyn
Gratitude is not just a noun, it’s a practice. Much like mastering a musical instrument or perfecting your pickleball game, the more you mindfully find ways to be grateful, the better you become at it.
And the more you practice gratitude, the more likely you are to find upsides even in times of contrast.
Why is this important?
- Gratitude pulls you out of your negative mindset. By amplifying your negative experiences, you can spiral downward...fast. By expressing gratitude, you give your thinking a more positive focus resulting in less stress.
- Gratitude puts things into perspective. It provides you with a sense of control that can help you avert feelings of powerlessness and victimization.
- Just this week, I was attacked by a dog. However, I am grateful he didn’t break my skin or worse.
- My dad was recently moved into a dementia unit in a nursing home. While he is confused and resentful, I am thankful he is safe and being cared for.
- My child support check bounced which was an unwelcome surprise. However, I am grateful that my family is still ok financially and not immediately impacted by it.
Do you see what I mean? I could have just as easily lamented and been derailed by these things. My gratitude practice (years in the making now) has me habitually seeking the positives in the contrast.
Don't get me wrong I don’t mean to come off all high and mighty. Each of these events were, and still are, upsetting in varying degrees and I still have my moments.
Processing a stressful experience through a grateful lens doesn’t mean denying the negative consequences or feelings associated with it. Instead, it means realizing some power over the circumstances by gleaning some good from the experience.
Circumstances are outside of our control. How we respond can either victimize us or empower us.
I’ll be honest, that dog incident had me so shaken! And let me be clear, there is no upside to getting attacked by a dog. But I am ok and I do realize it could have been so much worse.
The situation with my father has been an emotional roller coaster. I clumsily navigate between offering compassion for his feelings, setting boundaries to protect my own energy, and having to cast all emotions aside to act in his best interest. Some days, he is filled with rage, other days he is subdued. On rare days, he is lucid and reasonable, and may even chuckle. Or any combination thereof.
Again, this is a scenario no one would never willingly choose. The upside I can rely on is that he is safe, his needs are being met, and he is cared for.
And the money? Honestly, the other two incidents helped me put this in perspective too. I could have very easily said, “Oh and on top of everything else, this happened!” I have my health, my dad is cared for, and we are ok despite this temporary circumstance. This is a rare occurrence (thankfully!) and I am trusting it will be remedied soon. And in the meantime? We are okay. In fact, we are blessed.
Thanksgiving is upon us. No matter what is going on, please try to find the gratitude in it. Even if you are stuck next to the combative relative debating politics with you at the table. Find the upside. Even if it’s that you won’t have to debate this person again for another 364 days.
Click here for 3 inspired tips on bringing more gratitude into your daily life.
Much gratitude and love for you all,
Carolyn
