Turn "What-If" Worry Thoughts Into Positive Action
Hiya Herd,
I have a confession to make.
When I was in college, I had my first tarot card reading. After turning over the Rabbit card depicting a bunny with an ominous eagle looming overhead, the psychic told me that I focused too much on what could go wrong. So much so, in fact, that it was like I was openly inviting calamity in. She ended the reading by encouraging me to believe in myself and the Universe instead.
Pissed that I spent drinking money on this lame piece of advice, I nodded, smiled politely, and thought, “Okay, crazy lady. This is my LIFE we are talking about and a lot of other serious shit COULD realistically happen. And then what do I do?!"
Maybe it was part of my perfectionist mindset that I just wanted to get everything right from the get-go. In order to do so, I would evaluate every possible thing that could derail me so I could have a plan A, B, C, and sometimes all the way to Z. I lived many years that way. It was exhausting and not at all fulfilling.
You see, Herd.... I was a Chronic What-Iffer.
What-if thoughts show up when you are about to try something new or take a risk. When the what-ifs are unleashed, it’s like a lantern-fly infestation. They are pervasive and distracting, fluttering around in your mind, taking your eye off the prize and onto all that can go wrong.
The result?
What-ifs stop you from taking any inspired action by keeping you trapped in fear.
Think about it. If you follow a what-if worry stream all the way through, you are so far down a rabbit hole (Gasp! like that tarot card), far away from your original goal. What-ifs take you away from your desires, keeping you playing safe and small.
If this sounds like you, even if just at times, I invite you to explore a different perspective on what-if thoughts. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, how about exploring what can go right?
For example, let's say you are considering quitting your day job to take your passion project to the next level. Instead of ruminating on, “What if I fail?", consider this:
What if it all works out? Cue heavenly music.
By reframing* your what-ifs into positive scenarios, the vibration of your desire will increase over that of your fear. In this mindset, you can take inspired action steps toward your goals because you feel hopeful and empowered. Fearful thoughts are crowded out while desire takes center stage. They are still in your mind. It's just that they have been relegated to the far corners... where they belong.
While you can’t 100% control or even get rid of your thoughts, you can mindfully choose them. Famed author, Netflix celeb, and Goddess of Decluttering, Mari Kondo, asks this question of her clients:
“Does it spark joy?”.
She stresses that this critical and final question in the process of tidying is less about elimination than it is about what you want to keep in your home and life Let's apply her life-changing magic to what-if thoughts:
What if fail?
What if I embarrass myself?
What if I suck?
Are these the kinds of thoughts you choose to keep? How do they serve you? How do they make you feel?
Now let’s flip the switch to:
What if I love this new position?
What if I succeed?
What if I make beaucoup bucks???
How do these thoughts feel to you? Do they #sparkjoy?
While we are never completely fearless, we can fear LESS by turning negative questions into positive ones.
Could you try this practice? Not only for yourself but for any friend, loved one, or colleague who shares their fears with you. Watch the expression on their faces and their energy instantly shifts when you invite them to consider it all working out for them. Give them and yourselves the permission to feel like it will all work out.
SPOILER ALERT: It always does.
As a recovering perfectionist and chronic what-iffer, I am asking you to SAY YES to the opportunity that lies just outside your comfort zone.
Take the chance.
Sign up for tango lessons.
Learn a new language.
Start the business.
Buy the ticket.
Ditch the stale relationship.
Try the weird, foreign food you can't even pronounce.
While I wish my younger self knew this, I don't have any regrets. I am living the life I have always dreamed of NOW. I am traveling, Cher and I created this awesome community called Inspired Elephant (Herd of it?), and I am finally taking tennis lessons at the age of 50. Take it from me. Don't waste your life away by asking yourself what can go wrong. Start focusing on everything that can go right.
Now it's your turn. How many “what ifs” have you asked in life? Are they helpful or destructive? Do you have any tips? Please comment below!
Inspired by: Carolyn Duarte.